I searched but could not find it so this photo of my baby shoes will have to do. The ultrasound photo of our second child. I will never forget that ultrasound appointment. We were so happy. I wasn’t very far along in my pregnancy, but far enough along that we heard our precious child’s heartbeat. It was wonderful. The technician typed the words “Hi Mom, Hi Dad” on the screen and printed that sweet picture off for us. We were so full of hope that this baby would grow, develop and I would deliver a baby. My first pregnancy ended in miscarriage just before 12 weeks. We were excited to meet our child!
But then, something wasn’t quite right. Not long after that happy appointment, there was another one. This time, not so happy. Our baby’s heart had stopped beating. There was no more sign of life in my womb. Our child had died in my womb. We weren’t very far along so we do not even know if our child was a boy or a girl.
Our hearts were broken. Another child lost. A second miscarriage in a year’s time. If that baby had lived and been delivered at the end of nine months, he or she would be 22 years old now.
I do think about what would have happened if either or both of our children had lived. What names would we have settled on. What interests would they have had? What career would they have gone into? I sometimes can’t help but wonder things at graduation parties or weddings or see other young people about the same age as our child or children would have been. My heart still hurts.
An unborn baby’s heart begins to beat by six weeks and the brain starts to develop and function shortly after that. I won’t go into all of it here, but it is fascinating to see at what stages or weeks the unborn baby develops various things such as fingerprints, movement and even hiccups!
I believe that every word in the Bible—God’s Word—is absolutely true including these verses:
“For You formed my inward parts; You knitted me together in my mother’s womb.” Psalm 139:13
“Before I formed you in your mother’s body I chose you…” Jeremiah 1:5a
“Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb is a reward…” Psalm 127:3a
It hurts my heart even more when I see people argue about the option a woman has to have her unborn child removed from her womb. Women do have a choice to do what it takes to try and get pregnant or to try and not get pregnant. We chose to get pregnant and have children. Unfortunately, my body could not handle it.
I believe very strongly that God is the author of life. I also believe it is our responsibility to care for life from the moment of conception until we take our final breath here on earth. I do not write this to start any arguments or debates. If you are a woman who is pregnant and are looking forward to the birth of your child, I rejoice with you! I am so happy for you! If you are a women who is pregnant and this was not your plan, I beg you to find resources that are out there to help you care for your unborn child and carry him or her to term. If you are in a situation where you know you won’t be able to care for your child after he or she is born, then consider adoption. There are many wonderful couples out there who would love to care for and love your child. Adoption was not an option for us for several reasons. But there are many who are willing and ready to adopt.
If either of our unborn children would have lived, I would have hoped that they would love music and nature and their Heavenly Father and so much more. I would have hoped that they loved life.
Life.
