In December of 1998 and October of 1999 in early stages of pregnancy we lost babies that we will never meet this side of Heaven. Our first pregnancy we were so thrilled to be expecting our first child. Boy? Girl? Names? Then the loss. Second child we actually were able to hear his or her heartbeat. Again, we were thrilled. And filled with hope that I would be able to carry to term and we would meet this sweet child. Then another loss. Those days were hard. And even the next few years after that were full of emotionally difficult times for me. And due to circumstances beyond our control we were never able to have any children of our own. That of course has been a bit of a struggle. However, despite the loss, the low times, memories that will hit at "random" times, etc. I know God is good. We may never know why we had the losses. We may never know why what we thought our future held will never hold. But I know in all of this, as in other situations in life, He gave the strength and comfort to get through the hard times. And I can honestly say (and it took a LONG time to get to this point) whatever His will for my life/our life, I was okay with. However best He could use us, with children or without, I was okay with. Sure, we would have prefered with kids of our own. But we have been blessed to have bunch of kids be in our lives in some way or another over the years. I am thankful for that.
I am thankful for those who prayed for and with us after those losses. Thankful for kind words spoken. Thankful for the hugs. You know who you are. Thank you for your love and support during our tough times.
And I am thankful for the Lord and His goodness and how no matter what we go through, He knows how we feel. He is always by our side and will get us through. We need to just hold on tightly to Him.
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